The Beat of a Heart
by wolveswolvesandmorewolves
Summary: Edward's POV when he and Bella are in the clearing. During the first book, before their first kiss but after he reveals how he looks in the sunlight. One-shot. Rated T to be safe


** Okay so this just now popped into my head right as I was rereading the Twilight series again. This is Edward's POV when he listens to Bella's heart. **

** Review!**

** -Lilith**

I could barely restrain myself.

Here, in the sun filled clearing, I felt free. I was confessing my intentions, taking away the burden on my un-beating heart. And honestly, I liked the feeling.  
"Why…?" The beautiful girl beside me trailed off, small compared to me. Another one of her endless questions, no doubt.

I gave her a charming smile before replying. "Yes?" I asked, hoping to be able to read her expressions when she voiced her curiosity.

"Tell me why you ran away from me before."

I let the smile fade. "You know why."

"No, I mean, _exactly_ what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This for example"- she brushed her sweet smelling thumb over the back of my ice cold hand- "seems to be all right."

I smiled again, telling her the truth. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you." She confessed, her soft voice beautiful to my ears.

"Well…" I thought for a moment, putting my words together in my head. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness… I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_." I accidentally had let that slip out. I stopped and stared at her, hoping I hadn't offended her.

"Okay then." She said flippantly, trying to erase the sudden tension in the atmosphere. She tucked her chin. "No throat exposure."

I laughed easily at that, still amazed how she wasn't revolted by me. "No, really, it was more surprise than anything else."

I raised my hand and lightly placed it on the side of her neck. Underneath my cool skin, I could feel the heat from her body, the softness of her skin. Bella sat very still, but as I heard her heart, I could hear it speeding up. Not the chaotic thump of fear, but something else…

"You see? Perfectly fine." I said, hoping to reassure her. The feral part of my mind told me to sink my ivory daggers that were my fangs into her neck, to taste the sweet taste of the intoxicating flowery drink that flowed through her veins, let the blood sizzle on my tongue…

No. I couldn't give in. I had to remain on top of myself, on guard. Losing Bella wasn't worth it.

Her pulse was racing, a loud thumping that I could easily detect. Her cheeks filled with warmth, a mix of pink and red.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely." I murmured, freeing my other hand as her hands fell limply into her lap. Softly, I brushed her warm cheek, then held her soft face in between my hands.

"Be very still." I whispered, my cool breath blowing gently on her lips.

Slowly, I leaned towards her, never taking my golden irises from her gentle brown ones. Then, abruptly but gently, I placed my cheek against the hollow at the bottom of her throat. She didn't move as I trained my senses on the loud thumping of her heart, ignored the wind blowing across my hair.

With deliberate slowness, I sipped my hands down the sides of her neck, and felt her shiver underneath me. I let my breath catch, amazed at the way she wasn't afraid. Instead, she seemed compelled to let me listen to her heart. I didn't let my hands pause as they drifted down her shoulders, and then stopped.

I let my nose skim her collarbone, feeling it jut out slightly. I let myself rest my face against the side of her chest, wondrous as I listened to one single organ pump the sweet nectar through her body. It was fast, faster than it should be.

"Ah." I sighed, letting myself be this close to her but no closer. I didn't want to lose control and hurt her, afraid that I would accidentally kill her in the process. After all, this was a contest of wills.

Eventually, her pulse quieted only slightly, but I could still hear it through her soft blouse, through the aroma of her skin.

I could do this for her. Not hurt her.

I pulled away, peaceful. "It won't be so hard again." I confessed, satisfied that I hadn't killed her.

"Was that very hard for you?" She asked, her brown eyes soft.

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" I asked.

"No, it wasn't bad…for me."

I smiled at her inflection. "You know what I mean."

She smiled, lightening the clearing up even more. Soft pink lips that curved at the edges, marked with small scratches from age, but still beautiful.

"Here." I took her hand and placed it against my cheek. "Do you feel how warm it is?"

Her soft palm warmed my cheek up even more. The light touch of her hand made me feel slightly jittery on the inside, my emotions going slightly haywire. Even though I had been gifted the beauty of an angel, had been cursed by my alienness, I couldn't hide my human emotions.

"Don't move." She whispered, and I closed my eyes and became a statue under her hand.

Bella caressed my cheek, under my eye, the purple shadow in the hollow under my eye. Lower, tracing the shape of my nose, and then, slowly, my lips. Her hand left a trail of fire across my skin, warm, but not burning me. I parted my lips and let my cold breath mist on her hand, like a fresh chill. I could feel her desire to lean forward and inhale me, but was amazed when she didn't and pulled away instead.

She was a mystery to me. I couldn't read her thoughts to tell what she was thinking, couldn't see if she liked somebody else. The thought of her falling for somebody else felt like a snakebite to my heart, something I hadn't been familiar with until I met her. Jealousy.

I stared at her hungrily, and not just with the desire to drink from her jugular. I wanted to kiss her, to kiss her soft lips and feel her soft pink mouth under mine.

Could I restrain myself though?  
********

** And you know how the rest of it goes. Thanks for reading!  
Comment! Review! Add this to your favorite stories list, I don't care!**

** -Lilith**


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